


goes bye-bye birdie(fly like the wind)

by Porkbunz_zz



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Banishment, Betrayal on all sides, Depressed Arthur (Merlin), Depressed Merlin (Merlin), F/M, Idiot Arthur, Language of Flowers, M/M, Mentions of Aggravaine and Gwen, Protective Arthur, Suicide Attempt, mental breakdowns, suicide ideation, throughout the entirety of this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 09:11:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19943707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Porkbunz_zz/pseuds/Porkbunz_zz
Summary: Birds sing tweedle-dii and tweedle-doo! yet you’re still standing with plucked butterfly wings in the middle of the shimmering sun. This must be the third time you died this week."Merlin!"huh."Merlin!"interesting...(-In other words, the one where we go back to season 4 where Arthur threatens to banish Merlin not ONCE, but TWICE over emotional paper-cuts and bullshit! I love you Arthur but fuck you too! Merlin deserves better. AU, Merlin actually leaves of his own accord afterwords and Morgana finds him vulnerable+also deals with the aftermath of their mental states. Arthur really learns his lesson here because fuck the writers!)-highly recommend the notes unless you're an expert on flower-language!





	goes bye-bye birdie(fly like the wind)

**Author's Note:**

> Aconites-hatred, caution  
> Daisies-pure, eternal love  
> Sunflowers-Pure loyalty  
> Dark, red rose-Mourning (roses have thorns)  
> Red rose-Love  
> Yellow rose-Depends on situation: Sorry or disdain  
> Butterfly weeds-The giver wants you to leave them alone!

Birds sing _tweedle-dee_

_tweedle-doo!_

You’re still standing with plucked butterfly wings in the middle of the shimmering sun, perspiration down your neck and a bright, bright red-so much _Pendragon_ red(like the ones beneath your fingertips) amidst the fields. Minus the gold though-there’s enough of the crowny-hue to cloud your blood-vision-huh…

Ba-dum-daa...Ba-dum-daa…

Leaves crinckle underfoot, _crinch-crunch_ . It’s so _hot._

“mERliN!”

So you burn _burn_ **_BURNBURNBURN-_ **

“MerLIN!”

Ha…

“meEeEeRRRRLiIIIin!”

Really, you can’t be bothered. What a fool he is, truly. hahahah!

“Tonight _he_ dances with the devil _love,_ hurry up and lose your thorns, prickly-little rose...”

The angel speaks. Glass shatters when she does. It’s the only way to describe her, you think. A witch with angel wings. Ahhh-but now you both fly on broomsticks because they’re gone( _gonegone-never coming back, no-he stole ‘em, he stole ‘em, he-_ ).

“Your mouth is full of knives”

There’s panic in his voice and fear in his skin. You can see the ashes piling in his bones. He’s never been more _scared._ Sick, sick & joy currents through your veins. So much for believing in his servant aye?(traitor sears into your skin-but shhh...it's all his fault anyways-shhh...)

“You poisoned his roots and he let me nurture them!”

(there’s a sunflower in your chest and a daisy in his. One of them dies. Oh wait no, they both do, oops…) 

_burnBURN_ **_BURNBURNBURNBURNBURN_ ** harsher than the willow-wisps that always haunt you when he’s not _him,_ just **_B-_ **

“Since when did I kill flowers?-”

“You’ve _been_ slaying all _your_ golden dragons dear-watering the one with the most ferverous embers. Don’t be surprised by the scattered ashes and clipped wings beneath your feet. You _too_ dance with _him_ no?”

You follow the swallow of his throat, gaze at the bop of his adams apple-

_Ba-dump, ba-dump-_

Listen for a heartbeat-tame the _master_ (oh the irony!) with ire-fingers round his pretty, pretty neck. Slide excalibur in the blurb of his heart. Drink up the pain, let the stars float in your eyes(he was always mapping constellations on your body-one about your uselessness, another bout your foolish bravery-hah,hah.hah,hah! Your favorite though, was _herherherhimthem-_ ).

_Szzzzz~Szzzz_

Your magic’s crackling. It’s very hungry(you all are).

Closer...closer...

“The wicked witch has cast a spell on you boy! She’s turning you into aconites!”

Pick up the fallen petals and speak while you choke them back down. Ignore the lovelorn of Romeo and Juliet playing through your voice.“You gave me butterfly weeds when I gave you _her_ roses...”

And his knees are dropping at the sound of your battered words. He’s learning how to walk on them(for youyou _you)._ No wait! The Pendragon Prince-king-prince-ki- _prince_ is stretching through the plain-dirt fields with his sword in his hand. He’s going to kill _YOU,_ you realize, while mocking the day you first met( _'tell me Merlin, can you walk on your knees?')_ (but then...but then…)Shiny, silver metal caresses your hands, he points little-old scali atop his chest.

This must be the third time you’ve died this week(and then some).

“ _By my side, protecting me like you always have. God help me how I’ve forfeited that right.”_

Avalon’s dam breaks, gushing down his face from the pretty-crystal pools of his eyes. Arthur Pendragon is crying(for _YOU_ ). There’s a thud in your chest. 

_Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

So you clench your shirt with a white fist( _kill him!kill him!kill him_!)

“ _Merlin...”_

_Ba-dump._

“It’s _ok_ _Merlin.”_

_Ba-dump-_

It hurts. It hurts. It _hurts.It_ ** _HURTSHURTS HURTSHURTSHELPSOMEONEHELPIT-_ **

“I deserve it.”

Then the queen is calling, telling you to pluck his thorns already! But his palm on yours is so honey-warm and...and... _and_ …

_okMerlinIt’sokokokoko_ **_okokokit’sokmerlinme_ ** _rlinmerlin-_

There’s a broken halo on the ground. 

_Szzzz~Szzzz~_

Gold sparks around the jagged edges. You find yourself raising it above your head. Oh, huh-would you look at that? It seems you can breathe fire again. The butterflies are kissing your back too and misty-green damps down the hollow of your face. You’re also crying.

The boy presses sunflowers, daisies and a poomfy yellow rose in your fingers. You give him back his crown(he placed it on the rocks when the tears began to fall-did you forget to mention that detail? oops!).

The hug is honey-cake left to rot on stone in a blazing summer’s day. Sticky and gooey and sweetsweet _warm.so warm-_ full of sugar _(there's an alabaster glow around you two that neither of you notice...)_

_“Arthur…”_ He whispers the lullabies back in your ears, “I’m so sorry flower, I never meant to harm you…”

“ _Arthur…”_

“Let me water you again, ya?”

Somewhere in the distance, a patch of deep, dark roses bloom. Red, like poppies.

Ba-dum-da...Ba-dum-da...

In the end, the queen was nowhere to be found, neither was Camelot’s. (Maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly what they needed)

Birdie won’t go bye-by today. But he’ll definitely fly _with_ the wind. 

**Author's Note:**

> So....Whaada-ya think?
> 
> And ok but HOW THE FUCK has nobody ever done fics centered round the fact that arthur threatened to BANISH MERLIN over dumbshit?! All Merlin did was mention Gwen who Arthur never had any real chemistry with anyways and gets salty over the implications of Agrravaine being a traitor when the one person who NEVER left him despite dealing with the brunt ends of his anger is the one to tell him this TRUTH-But oh, you'd still rather choose all these other shit ppl who been cheating you from left and right since the start. Ok Arthur, you got what you wished for so don't regret it...  
> (btw, i'm salty but I love Arthur with all my heart because I honestly consider the last 2 seasons bad fanfic. Arthur would never treat Merlin so poorly, the writers just suck!)


End file.
